literature

In Remembrance of PHF, eh?

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WolfgangTiefdonner's avatar
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Literature Text

So there I was, sitting at the bay
The sky was blue, the clouds were gray
I was minding my own business, everything was ok
Until an annoying hot dog appeared, and wouldn't go away
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" it would say.

So I got up and walked to the nearest café
But the hot dog followed me anyway
I just wished, that quiet it would stay
But of course, my fears it did not allay
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" again it did say.

I decided at that point in time, on that day
That I would make the hot dog my prey
So I reached into my pocket and pulled out my gun of ray
The hot dog protected itself with a stiff, shield-like toupee
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" was all it would say.

I tried being nice, by giving it a bouquet
But the concept of shutting up, the flowers did not convey
I tried again, with money I offered to pay
Yet still, in singing its song, the hot dog did not delay
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" yet again it did say.

I threw at it a large can of hair spray
But the can failed to keep the hot dog at bay
I ripped off and picked up a blade from a sleigh
I swung it, but the hot dog it did not slay
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" the hot dog did say.

I pointed and yelled, "look!" to lead its attention astray
And waited until it was looking the other way
That's when I ran to hide behind a buffet
Except I tripped on the foot of a dancer of ballet
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" the hot dog did mockingly say.

I once again distracted the hot dog, with a musical play
I believe that it had originated from broadway
The recording was playing on a digital display
I bought it for $50 at CompUSA
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" the hot dog did relentlessly say.

I decided to be straightforward; no longer would I play
I told the hot dog to leave, but it would not obey
With nothing left to try, I began to pray
Of course, the hot dog was unaffected, much to my dismay
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" was all it would say.

The hot dog's phrase was becoming really cliché
If its words were clothing you could call them passe
I wished there was such a thing as an anti-hot-dog spray
I wonder if that would be approved of by the F.D.A.
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" the hot dog did say.

Desparate, I went to see my good friend José
He tried to kill the hot dog for me, to make a hot-dog-souffle
Instead the hot dog killed him, in a gory display
I realized what to do, as my friend in the corner did decay
"Do the la la la la, LA LA LA LA LA!!!" the hot dog - and I - now say.
I dedicate this poem to Perfect Hair Forever, because it's funny 'n shit.

Oh, and you don't want to know what the second Google Images result is for "hot dog."
© 2004 - 2024 WolfgangTiefdonner
Comments4
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OsaP's avatar
*happy spaz* XD XD XD

friggin' sweet!